As a Mancunian by birth, I perhaps should not say too much about Steven Gerrard's surprise acquittal at Liverpool Crown Court on Friday.
This brief post serves to remind us that not all footballer's have been quite so lucky when up before the beak, or grabbed by the fuzz. In fact I suspect the following Criminal XI, if all playing today, would be good enough to make it into the top six of the Premiership. How much would Manchester City pay for this little lot?
1. Hans Seegers. When the former Wimbledon goalkeeper was accused of match fixing, he explained suspicious sums of money in his bank account, by claiming his family came from an organised crime background in the Netherlands. Clearly a safe pair of hands for this team!
2. Gary Charles. A classy full-back in a classy Nottingham Forest team, Charles' career sadly collapsed into a booze fuelled spiral of drink driving, arrests and prison.
3. Tony Adams. HMP Chelmsford alumni, no one ever tried harder for the Arsenal.
4. Jonathan Woodgate. I think the muscular presence of Adams and Woodgate allows me the luxury of a back three, with a four man midfield. Lets just hope this defence does not go out clubbing together.....
5. Lee Bowyer. Excellent defensive midfielder, not quite so defensive when entering the Isle of Dogs branch of McDonalds late at night......
6. Joey Barton. How could anyone resist the temptation to pair Bowyer and Barton in the same midfield?
7. George Best. The original football bad boy, he now seems rather tame when you consider what came after.
8. Dennis Wise. Taxi for Mr Wise!
9. Duncan Ferguson. Anyone with the nick name 'Duncan Disorderly' has to be first name on this team sheet. His inclusion ensures much needed experience of the Scottish prison system in this line-up.
11. Jermaine Pennant. Dodgy winger, even dodgier driver.
Sub: Mickey Quinn. Every team needs a pantomime villain. The former Newcastle striker and Talk Sport presenter fell foul of the RSPCA for not looking after his race horses properly. Lets see him warm up on the touchline at the Stadium of Light after that.....
Manager: Tommy Docherty. Who else!
Do send in your suggestions for the remaining spaces on the substitutes bench, plus of course we need an assistant manager to accompany the Doc (especially as he may be distracted by the Physio's wife) Contributions please!