I Intend To Escape ......................And Come Back

Something Unhealthy About Uniforms?

One of the things I noticed in Thailand (even more than in Malaysia) is just how much Thais love a uniform.

Entering the Emporium shopping centre in Bangkok last week I was ushered in by a security guard redolent in a white jacket that could have been worn by Stalin at the Potsdam Conference in 1945. Dressing like that is perhaps acceptable if you have just conquered half of Europe and defeated the Nazis. For opening the door in a shopping centre, it is a little bit over the top.

Stalin Gets Ready To Open Doors!

Ryanair's Dodgy Scales

Well, what else do you expect from Ryanair?

Weigh a bag at home and it is under the limit of 15kg, put it on Ryanair's scales, and it suddenly leaps to 17 kg!

More details on the latest scandal involving these criminals here.

Exporting Good Ideas

In Thailand I twice went to the Muay Thai stadium at Lamai Beach, Koh Samui.

It is an excellent little stadium, attended by a mixture of curious tourists, Western Muay Thai fans and local Thais looking to bet on the fights. From the two events I saw Lamai seems to have more competetive bouts than the bigger Chaweng stadium, and it is cheaper to get in.

There are several good practices in Thai boxing I would like to see extended into Western boxing. All too often at bouts in the UK you see fighters slipping and sliding in the ring, often from the combination of water and sweat that swills about in their corner between rounds. This is not a problem in Thailand, where fighters are placed into what resemble giant saucepan lids at the end of each round, where they can sweat and slobber till their hearts content, without wetting the actual ring. A good practice, which should be adopted here.

A second change could also be to copy the referee's use of a towel to dry the boxers gloves between rounds. This removes the possibility of anything suspicious being smeared onto a glove (including legitimate substances like vaseline) and again removes sweat and water. I see no reason why a box of towels could not be kept ringside for this purpose.

Wigwatching - Thailand

I think Thailand, or more accurately its Western visitors, could well comprise the toupee wearing centre of the world.

The combination of ageing Western Lothario's and young Thai girls seems to inspire some Westerners to cover their baldness with the worst rugs imaginable. On my recent trip I saw hilarious syrup and figs in both Bangkok and Koh Samui. Sadly only one picture really came out - if anyone knows this guy, do send his name in!

Fat People Make Terrible Travellers

My flight from London to Bangkok last month was not pleasant.

As a football supporter I have made enough long journeys to know that fat people make the worst possible travelling companions. They react badly to being in a confined space, take up more room than their share, and often develop either breathing problems or a terrible desire to fidget as the journey wears on.

Given all this, my heart sank when I saw the size of the man taking the inner seat on my flight. A good 3-4 stone overweight, his beer belly regularly jabbed the seat in front. Worse, he declared his intention to "get his money's worth" from his flight ticket, by drinking as much airline beer as possible. Whilst this is perhaps laudable it meant that he took every opportunity to not only harangue the stewardesses for more beer, but he also needed to squeeze past everyone else in the row at regular intervals to put out what he had put in.

We read a lot about customer care policies. Perhaps the airlines could show some radical thinking on this issue, and put all the fat people together on long-haul flights?

Any Ideas?

I took the picture below in Utrecht last month.

Nobody I have showed it to can work out what the structures actually are.

Any ideas?

Keeping The Japanese Happy

It seems that going to Paris is too much for some Japanese tourists, who have to be flown home with a nurse in attendance if the reality of the city does not meet their romantic notions.

I am rather glad I bit my tongue last night, as I was cornered by three Japanese visitors near Hyde Park, asking for directions to the Diana Fountain. Having reluctantly given them, I was somewhat surprised to be asked if I myself had been there. "No I could not stand the idle parasite" welled up inside me, but I bit my tongue.

On reading this report of Paris, I probably did the right thing.

Destroying, In Order To Protect

The picture below is of a CCTV camera attached to one of Ireland's most historic buildings - Blarney Castle in County Cork.

I can only assume it is there to protect the historic property, or for the security of those visiting.

It has to be said that the chances of you being robbed and murdered in Blarney are pretty slim, so we can presume the cameras (there were several others) are there to protect the castle.

Think about this. In order to protect the castle, the authorities drill bloody great holes into it, and attach an electronic CCTV system to its walls. Walls that had otherwise stood unmolested for hundreds of years. Is it me, or is that absolute fucking madness?

What's In A Name?

Quite a lot if you are the BBC.

For much of the week the corporation has been reporting from Burma, where it is banned by the dictatorial regime. Reports such as these will have got the blood pressure of Burma's military pumping.

This is one part of the world where the BBC appears to be sparing no effort in being partisan. By referring to the country as Burma, rather than its official name of Myanmar, any attempt at neutrality is abandoned before it has even began. Yet, whether the BBC likes it or not, that is the official name of the country, and its reporters, if they entered the country legally, will all have stamps saying Myanmar in their passports. Indeed, I have one in mine, following a 30 minute visit to the country in March to renew my Thai visa.

Just in case the BBC are still confused as to the country's name, here's a picture of the border post.